“10 Things Homeschool Moms Want Other People To Know”. A gutsy title– claiming to speak for all homeschool moms! Maybe I don’t speak for ALL homeschool moms, but I definitely am speaking for myself and maybe for a few others out there.
I don’t know about you, but while homeschooling has become more mainstream, we still get curiosity from strangers, unsolicited comments and opinions from family members, and the occasional offense. At times, the reactions I receive when someone discovers we are a homeschooling family can stretch my civility to its limits. So, here are a few things I wish other people understood…
1. Our decision to homeschool is NOT an indictment on your choice not to
I LOVE homeschooling! I love it in all of its frustrating, happy, messy, warm, fuzzy feeling glory! I love to answer questions about what our homeschool life is like. I love to share in hopes of encouraging others who may not homeschool, but want to, that it’s do-able. Hence, the blog. One of the biggest impacts to us getting the courage to step away from the public school scene came from talking to a family who lived in our neighborhood who were doing it. “Seeing” someone, especially someone who looks like you (in the case of minorities) doing something you want to do, is incredibly encouraging.
All that said, I have to remind myself that people have difference circumstances that makes homeschooling not an option or a desire for them—and that’s okay. Just because I say “We homeschool” doesn’t mean I’m judging you for your decision not to. Please don’t get uncomfortable and start feeling like you have to defend why you chose the school you did or explain how the teachers at the school are really good.
2. We are tired, TIRED, I tell you of the "socialization" question!
Talk about a beating a dead “horse”! I haven’t met a homeschool mom yet who doesn’t roll her eyes at the infamous, “But, what about socialization?” question! The real issue is not socialization–homeschool kids have more than enough activities they can participate in. The real issue is developing quality relationships–something that both homeschoolers and public schoolers can struggle with! Honestly, all socialization is not good socialization.
3. All of our children are NOT geniuses, Mensa members, or child prodigies!
Is your child an average learner? Does your child have some special learning needs? Is your child “gifted” or “above average” in some areas? (What does all that even mean anyway?) So are many homeschoolers! In fact, I love the fact that we are a diverse bunch. Though we may not be in public school, homeschoolers are just as diverse in how they learn and the pace at which they learn things. Please don’t feel some kind of way because my child doesn’t know the answers to all the questions you try to drill them with to see if they are actually learning something at home.
4. We are NOT in competition with public schoolers.
It took me the longest time as a former high school teacher to break out of the public school mindset. I don’t have to follow the public school holiday calendar. My kids don’t have to work through a certain amount of information each day in a traditional classroom setting in order to give myself a “gold star”. Homeschool is NOT public school! My goals are different. My methods are different. My motivation is different. So why would I expect the outcome to look the same?
5. A teaching degree or college degree does NOT "qualify" me to teach my kids.
I really could scream this one from the mountaintops, especially as a former public school teacher. I’ve studied pedagogy and sat in staff development trainings. Do you know what conclusion I’ve drawn as a result of all my “specialized” training? Teaching is a gift from God, a calling. You want to be qualified to teach your children? Be willing. Be resourceful. Be committed. Be surrendered to God’s will. If you don’t feel like you’re equipped to teach ask God and he will provide what you need each day! He will lead you to the resources, people, and support you need to do what he has called you to do for your children. And for those of you who need some additional statistics to make you feel secure that you can indeed swing this homeschool thang…
Studies have shown that whether or not a parent has been a certified teacher has no relationship to the child's academic success when homeschooled (Ray, 2998, Academic Leadership Online Journal).
6. My kids are NOT weird or antisocial because they homeschool.
Is this even necessary to say? It’s amazing to me, how people can take their stereotypes and project them on to an entire subsection of the population. BUT… logically speaking, just as we can’t say ALL public school kids are sociable and outgoing because they attend public school, we also can’t assume that ALL homeschoolers are antisocial or weird because they homeschool.
My kids are being taught to think critically, evaluate the world from a biblical worldview, and be able to stand (alone if need be), for what they believe. This may cause them to appear different, but I’m cool with that!
7. You may fear that homeschoolers who choose to homeschool for religious reasons are indoctrinating their children, but rest assured, your kids are being indoctrinated in public schools too.
Yes! The Bible is a part of my homeschool curriculum. Yes! I am trying to instill my kids with biblical values. Yes! I want them to have a biblical worldview from which they evaluate things in our culture and society.
I took them out of public school because I didn’t want them to embrace humanism. I don’t want them to have the values of the world. I don’t want them to be hostile towards Christianity and the Bible. While homeschooling my kids doesn’t ensure that they will embrace what we’ve tried to instill as adults, I felt it was my opportunity to present them with the Gospel.
And trust, I know that there are many Christian kids and teachers in public schools being lights. But the blessing of being in this country is that we have a choice. I have to respect your choice just as you have to respect mine.
8. There are many ways to homeschool and just because that way does not mirror public school does NOT mean my kids are not being educated.
9. Our homeschool is NOT focused solely on passing a standardized test, but rather developing a joy for learning.
There is so much more to education than my child’s ability to pass a standardized test. While I do believe in preparing my kids for college by exposing them to good test-taking strategies, study skills, time management, and rigorous coursework, I am in no hurry to give them standardized tests to see how they measure up. When the time comes, they will be prepared. Until then, please don’t pressure me about what standardized tests they’ve taken or will take in the future. I still have stress from my own standardized testing days and I would like to delay passing that anxiety bordering on obsessive to my kids.
10. Homeschooling may not be the answer, but it is an answer and the evidence backs it up.
In a time of failing schools, bullying, and multiple other issues that plague the education system, parents need options. Even if homeschooling is not your choice, it is a great choice for many others. We all need to respect each other’s educational choices.
What do you want people to know about your decision to homeschool?
