In our first year of homeschool, we didn’t participate in a co-op or any outside extracurricular activities. My rationale at the time was that I wanted us to get comfortable with our new normal before we introduced outside disruptions to our routines. In essence, I wanted to learn how to juggle one ball at a time. My other rationale for not joining a homeschool co-op was because I was afraid.
You would think I’d be light years away from grade school insecurities right? Wrong! In fact, a scene straight out of “Mean Girls” is exactly what I feared!
The Cliquish Mom
I feared stepping into a co-op and running afoul of the cliquish mom. She’s the cool mom who has her pick of mom friends. You envy her from a distance because she’s always surrounded or in deep conversation with those in her clique. Everyone who isn’t a part of her circle might as well be invisible.
What does one mom matter you ask? Well, one cliquish homeschool mom shouldn’t matter so much, only the popularity she and her kids have is why you joined a co-op in the first place. They seem to have genuine friendships, acceptance, and support. On the rare chance that the cliquish mom lets you into her set, you have in-roads into the true ya-ya sisterhood of homeschool moms. If not, you and your kids’ homeschool social life is as good as vapor.
The All-Star Mom
This is the shiniest homeschool mom of the bunch. Everyone loves her because she seems to have it all together. She’s a leader and invaluable to the co-op because of all the things she does. Only don’t get in her way because this mom is territorial and will not suffer any newbies trying to steal her shine! You’re welcome to participate as long as you go along with the program—just don’t get any bright ideas!
The Drama Mama
This mama is initially the friendliest mom because she actually seeks you out, but its only because she has found a fresh pair of listening ears who hasn’t heard all of her complaints and grievances with the other co-op moms. She complains about the classes offered or what child hurt her son or daughter’s feelings.
Maybe at this point, you haven’t really felt a part of the group. You have your own wounds to lick, but all the negativity only seems to alienate you further. Before you know it, you and your kiddos are ready to swear off ever involving yourselves in another co-op.
Okay, so maybe I have an active imagination. If I had given into all my crazy little fears, I would’ve missed out on all the good things that make homeschool co-ops worth it! After getting over myself and joining an awesome homeschool co-op, here’s my advice to you…
The one who keeps herself isolated because she fears rejection or that she won’t fit in, or that her kids will hate it. Instead, join a homeschool group that you feel meshes well with your family’s interests and or values and BE…
Be...the Mom Who is Friendly
In order to make friends, you have to show yourself friendly. In the beginning it may seem like homeschool mamas, are a cliquish bunch, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. When you consider that some of the women you meet have been around each other for years raising kids together, there’s bound to be some serious bonds forged. The cool thing is that just because those mamas may hang out together, they may be just as willing to include you into the fellowship. Even if some homeschool moms have an impenetrable clique, there’s more than likely other moms who are looking to forge bonds as well.
Be...the Mom Willing to Get Plugged In
The best leaders have at one time been the best followers. Talented enough to lead, but also humble enough to serve. Maybe as a newbie you have to learn the ropes within your homeschool group and go with the flow, but over time as people see you engage and your willingness to serve, you’ll slowly but surely find your place within the group.
Remember too, that you get in what you put out, especially in a homeschool co-op where the keyword “co-op” is short for cooperative. If you really want to feel a part, don’t just do the bare minimum and then dip out with your kids. Stick around, find ways to be helpful, ask questions, and be open.
Be...Part of the Solution, Rather than Part of the Problem
Nothing organized by humans is ever perfect. We humans, with all of our flaws and issues, often rub each other the wrong way at times. We hurt each other’s feelings and things we touch are bound to have cracks. But beauty comes when we bear with one another, extend grace, and work through problems together. Personal growth comes as well.
