Moms, let’s face it. Sometimes life can get a little crazy! It’s especially crazy when trying to juggle an ever-increasing to-do list amidst the multi-faceted needs of your family, your own interests and pursuits, and staying spiritually connected with God. There have been times that I’ve felt defeated trying to meet so many expectations. I can do a lot of things, but I don’t do all of those things well. I call it being a jack of all trades and a master at none.
I think some moms shy away from considering homeschooling their kids for the same reason. It looks like a Herculean task that can potentially drive you bonkers! I’m often asked, how do you do it all? How do you stay sane?
Let me let you in on a little secret. I don’t even try to do it all. I started homeschooling with this unrealistic standard (fantasy) in my head, taken from Pinterest, comparing myself to other homeschoolers, and comparing myself to public school. I had pretty tall order of comparison that left me feeling like a failure. When I finally embraced the full freedom of homeschool however, things ran a lot smoother. I discovered that it was small tweaks to my routines and attitudes that made things a lot easier. Here are some of the epiphany’s I had.
It's Okay To Say No
Scenario #1 Your lovely sister/cousin/mother/in-law calls you in the middle of the day asking for a special request because it’s not like you’re working, you’re a stay-at-home mom with a flexible schedule. Surely you can do x, y, and z for them. Because you love them, of course you want to, but you’re swamped with trying to make sure your kids have homeschool time, plus you have to run to the store, take the oldest to soccer practice, take the youngest to dance, and the list goes on…
Scenario #2 You’ve joined this homeschool co-op [insert any other group], made friends, and really become invested in seeing the co-op thrive. The harvest is plentiful when it comes to serving and volunteering, but the laborers are few. There are multiple needs and you want to ensure that you’re your kids have a fulfilling experience. You decide to step and serve as a teacher, but there are still gaps that need to be covered so you step up and volunteer to clean up after co-op too. There are still gaps to be filled and it just seems as though no one is stepping up so…you agree to do x, y, and z to help.
Scenario #3 Socialization. It’s a word that strikes fear and insecurity in parents new to the homeschool world so you sign your kids up for AWANA, soccer, music lessons, dance, and co-op. You spend more time shuttling your kiddos back and forth to practices, lessons, and recitals as you do actual time at home. You’re relieved that there is so much for your kids to get involved in and so glad they’re making friends and having social outlets. Then, your kids hear that nearly all of their friends are participating in Scouts and they’re begging you to say yes to yet another activity…
What’s the moral of each of these three scenarios? Take it from someone who keeps a full schedule and falls in love with all the opportunities for my kids to be well-rounded individuals, it’s okay to say NO! NO, doesn’t have to mean you won’t do it, but maybe you won’t do it right now. Maybe no, means compromise—you can’t do this, but you can do that. Maybe it is an absolute no! When I stopped saying yes to everything that came my way and let go of guilt that maybe I’m being selfish, I felt a few slivers of my sanity return! Plus, I subtly set some boundaries for those outside my household to respect my time and schedule, which leads me to my next little epiphany!
Protect Your Instructional Time
Nobody is too busy, its just a matter of priorities.
Protect your instructional time. There are always activities, requests, and obligations that have the potential to eat away at your instructional time. The time crunchers are often good, meaningful things—like cleaning, volunteering, serving others. But if you’re not careful, those things can infringe on your homeschool time or can leave you too burned out to really make your homeschool time impactful. One of the things I constantly struggle with is consistency with homeschooling—meaning day in and day out, making sure that we are moving forward in learning. A surefire way to help us be more consistent with homeschooling involves eliminating distractions during homeschool time.
One way I protect my homeschool time is by knowing making the most out of my iphone and ipad settings. I’m sure you’re asking yourself, what do iphone and ipad settings have to do with homeschooling? Well, some of my greatest distractions involves my tech. A random robo-call while my littles are reading is all it takes to cause us to get off course. So, I have my iphone set so that numbers that are not in my contacts don’t even ring. If it’s someone important, they will leave a message. I am liberal with my Do Not Disturb settings as well, which I can set to only accept calls from My Favorites or only if the same number calls twice. It also keeps me from receiving alerts from Notifications I receive to my phone.
Protecting instructional time during homeschool sends my kids the message that I take homeschool seriously and that I am focused and engaged with them. This sets the tone to help them to take it seriously as well.
Don't Sweat The Small Stuff
Raising kids is loud, messy, disorganized, and chaotic at times. Our home will reflect the chaos which means the beds may go unmade, the kitchen may have a few dirty dishes, and the house may get a little dusty. Often, if we have a full day of homeschool, something else goes undone. Instead of stressing when I fail to complete everything, I regroup, set a day to clean and try to maintain that.
Like making time to clean, some homeschool days are a breeze. The kids and I cover everything we intended, things flowed smoothly, and I feel a sense of accomplishment. Other days, it feels like pulling teeth to get through subjects, or some topics require more than we anticipated. Rather than feel like a failure or worrying that my kids are going to fall behind some arbitrary level, I instead celebrate what we did accomplish and recognize that tomorrow is another day. Sweating the small stuff is self-defeating and an energy zapper. Learning to devote my time and energy to what really matters is important to keeping myself from burnout.
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Being a mom is a 24/7 gig. I hear the word “Mama” called so much that I sometimes Kendra can get lost beneath all the requests and demands on my time and energy. And you know what? I am grateful! I am grateful to be available to answer to Mama a thousand times a day. I consider it a privilege to be able to devote myself to my family because I remember a time when I constantly struggled with guilt that my job interfered with me really taking the time my family needed.
When I first began homeschooling, I tried my best to be a homeschool Mary Poppins. Perfectly engaged with my kids. Carefully planned and executed lesson plans every day. Plugged in and available at all times for every single issue or need. But over time, I became irritable, depressed, and unhappy and I couldn’t pinpoint the reason why. Well, long story short, it’s because I was neglecting myself. I wasn’t taking any time for myself and who was affected? My kids!
So often we moms neglect ourselves. We feel guilty for taking time for ourselves apart from our husband and kids. But they actually benefit from our taking a mental break. We are mentally refreshed and more engaged when we do plug back in.
Team Work Makes The Dream Work!
I love homeschooling my kids because learning is a way of life and extends way beyond a curriculum. Learning life skills are just as necessary as academics. It not only prepares kids for adulthood, but it also helps you to get things done without burning out!
Often kids also take interest in household chores and learning how to do things such as cooking, washing clothes, sweeping, baking, and the like. When they are invested in the household as contributing members, they start to appreciate what it takes to maintain a household and may be more conscientious about their surroundings. When I realized that there is one of me and four kids with 8 arms and legs between them to help me with chores, it made my life so much easier and took some of the pressure I felt off. Plus, my kids helping with chores has helped them to become more independent and better able to work together. Kids can do a lot more than we give them credit for. I love this cute chore chart from theheartysoul.com that provides a list of age-appropriate chores your kids can do.
Stay tuned for five more tips to keep your sanity as a homeschool mom...
